im baaack!

:)

We said we'd keep in touch, but touch is not something you can keep. As soon as it's gone, it's gone. We should have said we'd keep in words, because they are all we can string between us. Words on a telephone line, words appearing on a screen.

I didn't want to wake you cause I know I couldn't stay. I'm looking forward to looking back on these days. And I'm fine, but I'm not okay.

All this feels strange and untrue and I won't waste a minute without you.
My bones ache, my skin feels cold and I'm getting so tired and so old.
I want so much to open your eyes 'cause I need you to look into mine.

I'm wishing the days could go fast, so I could crash.. close my eyes, try to go to sleep and bring you back, but I can't bring you back. No, I can't bring you back.

sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you. it's like being invincible. your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. big plans. to find your perfect match. the one that completes you. but as you get older, you realize it's not always that easy. it's not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. at the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. you want to believe that you're leaving something good behind. you want it all to have mattered.

soo it's been awhile. I've been busy and stuff. I can't promise I'll be updating a lot. Buuuut i will do it when i can :)

I'm breathing oceans and distorting my losses.
The black clouds around your eyes soften me.
I'll show you how this should be done, real passion and real grace, my love.
I'm not faceless like the fraud you used to give yourself to.

If I could hear my echoes from five years back,
they would join me in accord,
because I've been saying the same thing for years now:
"Things are going to have to change in the morning."

Lonely, yeah, that's the word. I leave my heart when I leave her.
The days go on forever and the nights do too.
One evening out on the road, a half a world away from home
I thought that she was sleeping when the call came through.
I said, darling, it's late, is everything okay? Silence took over the room
until she said, I... I just love you. I don't know why I just do

Pinned down, wrapped up, in the arms of sleep.
I feel it slowing now. I can barely see my way out.
I won't forget. And every single time I see your
face it reminds me of why I walked away.
I won't forget. And this is how you remind me that
when I walked away, I was right to save me from myself.
Goodbye, never say I am not enough.

I'm always on my way to somewhere else, searching high and low to find myself. Stuck on that highway between here and there, I could be anywhere. You're like the eye of a hurricane, you are a constant in a world of change. You are the calm in the storm when life gets strange.

My body aches, it heaves, it shakes
All somersaults through so-caled art
And I still don't know exactly who I am,
I never will, amen.

hey thanks, thanks for that summer.
it's cold where you're going
I hope that you're hearts always warm.
I gave you the best, the best that I had.

i still remember everything.
every mistake, every apology.

if i could shrink it down and put in your hands.
we made it hurt so much,  i can't forget the past.
just tell me what to say, show me what to do.
then i could forgive me and i could forgive you.

Someone screwed up about half past the night. Wish I'd been up I could've had a blast and then run. But I know now there's that one person everyone has that messed them up and they're still thinking about them, that one person you'll never get, no matter how long it's been.

Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue. Loving things like you has made me so confused. And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on, God I can't be living life for things I know are wrong

One of the worst feelings in the world is
having to doubt something you thought was unquestionable.

So what are you drinking, so what are you popping, so what are you popping, so what are you eating, so what are you dropping, so what are you smoking, so what are you sniffing, so how you coping?

I know you're tired of waking up on the floor. Pushed to the edge with nothing heavy to hold. Using your clothes as a blanket and a bed, holding your hands just to lay your head.

Emotion that is pure and true cannot be described,try as we might.
And once the emotions are gone,
they cannot be captured, ever.
But there are those who have tried.
And though they can never truly succeed,
their efforts are the masterpieces of this world.

i think im back.

Their words are flying over my head.
I try and hear, but I'm somewhere else again.
You laugh and I smile back to humor you.
If it's good for you, it's good for me too.

It's hard for me to explain, it's hard to explain, it's hard to understand all the fear and phobia that lays inside and traps this man when I'm surrounded, I wanna scream and kick down the walls, destroy what holds me. I wanna smash it all, we're neurotic, we've had it.

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways, my bad habits would be gone in a matter of days. I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes to a whole new world that had since been in disguise. Her mom calls her sunshine, because she always had a smile. Let me tell you something, I've seen your daughter in an alleyway, drunk and stoned. I still remember the day that sunshine got cloudy.

If you're looking for reasons not to love someone, you're probably going to find them. But sometimes, we need to give in and let our hearts get what they deserve. <----applys to me right now.

I was afraid of too many things, but dying to prove I was strong enough. To make my own way, to make it myself, to keep my head up, be the one who helps.

Because I don't know what I am doing now, and I won’t try to act like it because I sure don't know how. And I'll admit that I don't know, just where I'm going on this long and winding road that's taking me to what will be my home.

I wanna be an astronaut
And get high
Break the barrier of sound into the sky
Just wanna be free
From the confines of gravity

i closed my eyes and closed myself, and
closed my world and never opened up to
anything that could get me at all.
i had to close down everything.

I'm burnt out, burnt out on everything
repeating over again
burn out, burn out on everything
will this end?
I wanna be honest but I can't
I tell you that everything's all right
I'm lookng for time to find myself
with all of this madness in my life.

True love is something that comes easy
Just one kiss god I swear I want to
I heard a pin drop and a nervous heart beat
Have you ever herd me scream I love you
Do It For Me Now-Angels and Airwaves

You will never be prepared for
the moments that change your life.

On the rocks, staring at the ocean, not thinking, not speaking, simply being. The waves hypnotize me with their endless rhythm and the wind sighs of eternity and the gulls cry their mournful song. Grey skies, gentle waves and a peaceful mood able to soothe the angriest man.

What’s so simple in the moonlight, by the morning is so complicated.

"... This phrase was so much like what I often wrote in my diary. The idea of deserving love. And then watching love being given to people who did nothing to deserve it."

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I'd rather remember it as it was, at it's best, then mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

"When the truth is ugly, people try to keep it hidden, because they know if revealed, the damage it will do. So they conceal it within sturdy walls or they place it behind closed doors or they obscure it with clever disguises but truth, no matter how ugly, always emerges. And someone we care about always ends up getting hurt. And someone else will revel in their pain and that's the ugliest truth of all."

Every storm brings with it hope that somehow by morning, everything will be made clean again. And even the most troubling stains will have disappeared. Like the doubts over his innocence or the consequence of his mistake. Like the scars of his betrayal or the memory of his kiss. So we wait for the storm to pass hoping for the best even though we know in our hearts some stains are so indelible, nothing can wash them away.

What a rainy ending given to a perfect day.
Just walk away.
Ain't no use defending words that you'll never say.
& now that I'm sitting here thinkin' it through
I've never been anywhere as cold as you.

Tomorrow I'm taking all of your windows away so you can feel the wind through your hair.
So you can touch the sky again.

& instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast.
It's hard to make the good times last.
You realize the sun don't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.

It's been three years since I last saw that lonely smile,
& it'l be a thousand more till I can find a face I loved as much as yours.

Tolerance is total acceptance of others' uniqueness.
Open your eyes. Open your heart.

Raindrops bang like rocks on my windowpane.
I thought they'd never stop
Never see the sun again.
& I've been sleeping in
For way too long.

It's only right that you should play the way you feel it.
But listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness.
Like a heartbeat, it drives you mad.
In the stillness of remembering what you had
& what you lost.

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator,
But among those whom I love, I can:
All of them can make me laugh.
-- W.H. Auden

A creative individual is no longer seeking normalcy
As she has finally come to terms that it's okay to be comfortable with yourself
No matter the verdict of the snotty teenagers sitting all around her
They openly mock you for being different but you silently laugh at them for all being the same.

How did we have it all? How did we have everything we wanted and then even more? We had each other. But no, that didn't satisfy us. We're now strangers. No, not strangers. We have a past. We'll never be strangers.

The flames and smoke climbed out of every window and disappeared with everything that you held dear. But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need cause you knew you were finally free.

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